Against all odds
by o0oBishieo0o
Summary: Songfic: This is about some of RanRans thoughts when visiting Aya in hospital, rated for mild angst. Please R+R!! ^_^ *grins and scampers off*


Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!! *whines* The song used in this fic is "Against all odds" by "Mariah Carey" and the Characters are from "Weiss Kruez" they are NOT mine!! *pouts* although like many others I wish Ran did belong to me *smirks* This fic is in Ran's P.O.V and if he is slightly OOC gomen nasai, but i didn't think he'd be a cold heartless bastard when visitin' his dear dear sis *grins* And for all those strange people out there that may read this and think theres more to the brother/sister thing in this fic that meets the eye THERE ISNT! im not THAT twisted. All flames will be smirked at and sent to Farfie to keep him amused ^_^ Please R+R Arigatou!!  
  
Against all odds  
  
  
  
  
I could feel the small smile tugging at my lips as I silently walked into the darkened room, slowly walking to the glass vase on the white table i began to change the flowers, replacing the wilting ones with fresh vibrant life, roses..always roses. Taking the small stall from the corner of the room i carefully dragged it close to your beside, my hands resting on the crisp white covers that you lay on, dreaming in your eternal sleep.  
  
How can i just let you walk away,  
Just let you leave without a trace,  
When i stand here taking every breath, with you,  
Your the only one, who really knew me at all.  
  
My eyes glaze over slightly as i gently brush a few stray strands away from your face, your dark hair flaring up against my pale skin. Im not sure what to say, i can't make conversation anymore, even though i know you wont answer i don't want to taint your ears with my sins, I can't help but think that your listening to every word i say, smiling in your own seperate world. I also know you wouldn't approve of it, perhaps thats why i don't tell you whats really on my mind. Instead i talk about the weather, my day at the flower shop. I talk about Youji, Omi and ken, I just happen to forget to mention the amount of blood thats now staining my hands, the same color as the roses i always bring.  
  
How can you just walk away from me,  
When all i can do is watch you leave,  
Cos we shared the laughter and the pain,  
Even shared the tears, your the only one,  
Who really knew me at all.  
  
Averting my gaze from your peacefull form i try to get my emotions under control, every time I come here i promise myself i wont cry, i wont allow myself to feel anguish. I have to be strong for us both. Although i know now im not worthy of the tears so desperatly trying to escape my eyes. Shrugging in the darkness I reach over and take your hand, its slightly warm, the familiar feeling of hope flourishes in my chest as I intertwine our hands and cling on, as if death may come and take you from me at any minute.  
  
So take a look at me now, Theres just an empty space,,  
Theres nothing left here to remind me, Just the memory of your face,  
Take a look at me now, Theres just an empty space,  
And you coming back to me, Is against the odds,  
But thats whats i've gotta face.  
  
I know im confusing them, I dissappear without an answer. Im cold toward them, when they've tried to understand. I don't want them to understand, If your understood you become weak, they know all your secrets, I don't want that, I can't let them understand the guilt i feel. For taking your name, I thought that way you could still live, through me. But now i regret something i cannot erase, how could i do that to you?..wash your very exsistance with the souls of the so many i've taken?..I can't say im sorry..Sin can't say its sorry, because then it will be purifying its deeds..and I'm not. I tell myself everyday I fight to avenge you, Im just a murderer, using that as an excuse to kill, so i don't feel remorse when i happen to catch my victims eyes.  
  
How i wish that i could make you turn around,  
Turn around and see me cry,  
Theres so much i need to say to you, So many reasons why,  
Your the only one, That really knew me at all.  
  
You look so innocent lying there in your own serenity, pooling around you. You look like an angel trying to mend its broken wings, To me your the most beautifull thing in this world. I take my hand from yours momentarily, reaching up to touch my left ear and the earring that was once in your own flesh, I smile into the darkness a small part of me knowing that whatever i am now, whatever I've become you would still love me, that i wont always be alone in this world.  
  
So take a look at me now, Theres just an empty space,  
Theres nothing left here to remind me, Just the memory of your face,  
Take a look at me now, Theres just an empty space,  
But to wait for you, Is all i can do,  
And thats what I've gotta face.  
  
Leaning over i brush a small kiss on your forhead, my chest tightening as i grab franticly at my control once more to hold it in place. Falling back onto the stall I sit like that for awhile, watching you as you breathe quietly, surrounded in seductive unconciousness.  
  
Take a good look at me now, Cos i'll still be standing here,  
And you comin' back to me, Is against all odds,  
Thats the chance I've gotta take.  
  
Sighing and running my fingers through my hair i slump against the wall of the room, my eyes suddenly feeling heavy as my lids begin to drift shut. Keeping my firm grip on your hand i allow the ever present darkness that is now part of me to wash over my body, beckoning my dreams into the land of shadows. Just as i fall into sleep, the same thought I always have whispers at the back of my now numbing mind. I hope that tomorrow when i open my eyes, you my dear sister will awaken with me.  
  
Take a look at me now.  
  
Owari.  
  
AN: *blinks a few times* wow..i actually wrote a non yaoi fic *faints* whoohoo!! I'd like to dedicate this fic to Baka-chan for giving me episodes of Weiss Kruez, which i got hooked on, thus allowing the idea for this fic to be created. And i'd also like to thank anyone that reviews this!!.. Was it okay?...did it suck?..Please tell me!!..This was also written at 4am in the morning so please ignore any grammer/spelling mistakes i may have made. *smirks* I should be asleep so i don't complain about getting up at 8am tomorrow..but inspiration was calling *grins* anyway! Please R+R arigatou!!  
  
Bish. 


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